Dichotomy
by maybethedreamisdreamingus
Summary: LLight YAOI. Hardly any, but still. Written as a gut reaction to ep25, Raito's thoughts when L dies, about the parodox of Raito loving L. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I did, L would not have died T.T he would have stayed alive and had lots of hot smecks with Raito. But hey, at least now Raito is free to complete his master plan of world domination :D

A/N: Just watch ep 25 of Death Note and sat down to write. Because how could you not after that? Also, listening to Tokyo Shinjuu by Gazette whilst I wrote this, which is the _perfect _accompaniment.

Dichotomy

Ryuuzaki fell in an arc, slowly, and suddenly Yagami Light found himself cradling the world's greatest detective in his arms. He felt inside him his already confused thoughts split into ultimate and absolute dichotomy.

His nemesis was destroyed.

His lover was dead.

A smile crept onto the young megalomaniac's face, L was finally out of his way, there was nothing stopping him now from becoming the god he was born to be. A world would bow at his feet, crying their love for their saviour, and that world would be a perfect world, a pure utopia cleansed of the evil that tarnished its perfection. _Kira! _He could hear them calling now, _hail Kira! Lord of the new world! _L was the only thing that had ever stood in his way, and now, nothing could stop him.

But through this rising joy of glory and divinity, his human heart died and shrivelled into black. Ryuuzaki, what world could there be without him? Raito cursed himself every day for having the human weakness to do such a foolish thing as fall in love, but there was nothing he could have done about it. Every day he found himself splitting more and more, between Kira who hated L more then anything in this world, and Raito, who loved Ryuuzaki more then life itself. For some reason, the only reason that Raito would never find, whenever his skin came into contact with Ryuuzaki's, the burning passionate hate that he felt for his arch enemy burned a new light, and anger became desire. It was not so difficult as it might sound, love and hate are not so far estranged as most people would think, both burn with passion, and both consume one utterly.

Each night, it would just be the two of them left after everyone else had given up and left, still sifting through evidence in the blue-ish light of the computer screen, barely ever speaking. And one day, Raito had found his lips mingled with Ryuuzaki's, his hands mingled with his unkempt hair. He would never be entirely sure how it had happened, what words had led to that moment? The details were fuzzy, Ryuuzaki had said something strange, one of those odd comments that he came up with sometimes that somehow threw the entire world off balance. All Raito could remember was that Ryuuzaki had turned his owl-like eyes upon him. There had been doubt, he remembered that now, doubt in those seemingly lidless eyes, and Raito had felt like he had to do anything that would stop the piercing invasiveness of that stare, like Ryuuzaki was picking apart every part of his body with a fine needle and examining it for evidence. Without a plan (what idiotic, _human_ foolishness, Raito never did anything without a perfect plan) he had reached out and grabbed his owl-eyed nemesis by the shoulders and, following what seemed at the time the most perfectly natural ensuing course, pulled Ryuuzaki towards him and kissed him fiercly.

The days that followed were the strangest of Raito's young life. He had never been confused before, Raito always knew, what to do, what to say, how to act, he always knew. Now his thoughts were irreparably torn, this owl eyed boy was the greatest thorn in his side that the world could possibly have thrown out to him, and yet Raito was addicted to every little move he made. There was just something so perfect in every scraggly end of his hair and every flicker in his wide eyes that Raito simply _wanted._ Something he just had possess. And it drove him every time into their ill-advised fiery midnight meetings.

And now Ryuuzaki lay dead in his arms. Raito knew that this was all his own doing, his own plan. He had deliberately driven Rem into a position where there was nothing else he could do, Rem loved Misa purely, without the twisted shades of hate and lust that poisoned Raito's own love for Ryuuzaki. What could she do but save her life? Even if it meant losing her own. But still, Raito took a vindictive pleasure in the knowledge that all that was left now of the shinigami's immortality was a nondescript pile of dust.

There was nothing now. A black carnivorous hole inside him took anything that could be called 'life'.

Yagami Light died with Ryuuzaki.

And without L in the way, Kira would rise as a god.

* * *

Please please please please pretty-please-with-a-cherry-on-top review?


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